Michael van Gerwen: Between the World Elite and the Laundry Basket

Last year, his world was turned upside down after his separation from Daphne. At the oche, Michael van Gerwen (Boxtel, 1989) has always been on his own, but recently that has also been the case at home in Vlijmen. MASTERS sought out the three-time world darts champion and gained a rare glimpse into the life of a top athlete trying to find balance again: between winning and processing, traveling and coming home, fatherhood and packed venues. “Dad is still busy for a bit, we’re going to the playground soon.”

Do you remember when you held an arrow in your hand for the first time?

“No, I can’t remember that anymore. I think I was somewhere between eight and eleven years old. My brother, who is four and a half years older, had a dartboard hanging in the dining room. Occasionally, I was allowed to throw a dart too.”

When did you first notice that you had a talent for darts?

“I started with football at 'BOC' (nickname of RKSV Boxtel, ed.). That was absolutely nothing: I went from the E3 to the D4, the lowest of the lowest teams. I was completely useless at it. Around the same time – I was about twelve or thirteen – I earned a bit of extra money by 'writing' during darts tournaments in the pubs, keeping track of the scores. I would earn about 150 guilders a night. At some point, competitions were organized for the youth. I wanted to participate, but the matches were at the same times as the football matches, on Wednesday and Saturday afternoons. So I had to make a choice.”

“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Go ahead and grab something to eat.”

What makes someone a true top darts player: talent, discipline, obsession?

“Actually, everything. You have to be a bit self-satisfied, not give a damn about the world, have talent… And I’ve had to give up a lot for it too, a whole lot. No parties, no birthdays, no ‘long live the fun’. Because you have to put in a lot of hours at a young age, that really is the most important thing.”

You've had to sacrifice a lot for it, but many people still view darts as a pub sport: a beer in one hand, a dart in the other. How much truth is there left to that cliché?

“I started out in a pub myself, so I experienced that world. But that time is behind us. By now, I have been traveling the world for about twenty-four years and playing in sold-out venues like Ahoy, the Uber Arena in Berlin, and the Lanxess Arena in Cologne. Sometimes there are as many as 16.000 people there. In those years, darts has transformed from an informal pub game into an international professional televised sport and a fully-fledged stadium sport.”

But most darts players do seem to be carrying a beer belly around…

“Perhaps that is still a remnant of where the sport comes from: the pub, the irregular lifestyle. But you see increasingly younger darts players emerging now. The average age in the Premier League Darts is ten or fifteen years lower than when I made my debut there fourteen years ago. That younger generation also lives healthier lives. The more money involved in a sport, the more professional everything becomes. Look at football: in the past, pros would still casually smoke a cigarette in the dressing room. You can’t imagine that anymore. You can see just how seriously we take it by looking at our warm-up: we throw for two and a half hours before a match starts. That is longer than the match itself.”

Darts wasn't big in your youth. Did you have a goal for yourself despite that?

No concrete goal, but the hope that I would progress. It soon became clear that I was better than my peers, but I have also seen plenty of youth players who had a lot of talent and ultimately didn't make it.

To outsiders, darts sometimes looks deceptively simple. Throwing a dart at a board seems easier than shooting a free kick into the top corner.

“Just give it a try. Shooting a free kick into the top corner has everything to do with technique: how you hit the ball, your body position. But in darts, everyone has their own technique. No one throws the same way. There is no formula for the perfect throw. My secret? You have to be a born winner. A ‘just went along for the ride’ mentality isn’t in my nature. I can get absolutely devastated just by losing at cards. At the same time, you have to know what it feels like to lose before you can become a big winner.”

“Dad, can I paint?” “Never mind for now.”

You have won practically everything there is to win. What is harder: reaching the top or staying there?

To stay there, I think. I was number one in the world for seven or eight years. Darts was always my first priority. But you change as a person. The biggest change comes when you have children; then they become your first priority. You notice that. You become just a little less hungry. Then the trick is to find the balance between performing and having fun in life. However, for the last two years, I haven't performed as I would have liked. The foundation of my life had been swept away.

Darts is an individualistic sport; you have to do it all yourself. Do you have any guidance?

“Of course. I need that too. When you are unstoppable, you carry the biggest target of anyone on your back. That is certainly a burden you have to deal with. I have good people around me. That is also different from the past, now that there is more money in the sport. They are professionals; they don't do it for nothing.”

“Dad, when is it half past twelve?” “In an hour.” “Are we going to the playground then?”

To many people, you are primarily 'Mighty Mike'. How difficult is it to simply remain yourself behind that nickname?

“When I go to Efteling with my children, I have no life. People just come up to you and ask for a photo. I am used to being a public figure, but it is annoying for my children. That is the price you pay. At the same time, my career also brings many wonderful things. Here, too, it is all about balance.”

Your life is out in the open: you can't open a newspaper or magazine without finding something about you in it again. How do you deal with that?

Sometimes it’s easier than others. Sometimes you think: leave me alone. But in today’s world of social media and gossip channels, it’s no different. When I first started playing darts, we had to make do with a Nokia 3310 or a Motorola, and not everyone was walking around taking photos all day. You can’t protect yourself against that. You just have to let it happen, because you have no control over it anyway.

The past year was personally tough for you. How do you get through such a period without losing yourself?

“I haven’t figured that out yet. What I do know is that I came out of that period 28 kilos lighter; that is how much weight I lost. The divorce from Daphne caused a massive seismic shift. We were together for seventeen years and brought two fantastic children (six and eight years old, ed.) into the world. When that falls apart, nothing is the same anymore. All habits are gone in an instant, and that is not easy. Before, we did everything together. Now when I come home, I have full responsibility for my children when they are with me. Cooking, doing a load of laundry, going to the playground…”

Is darts now also an escape, a way to get away from it all for a while?

Occasionally I do, but I also love being with my children. When I’m about to go to London for a match and at the farewell they say 'just stay here'... Yeah, then I fall apart.

Tears well up in your eyes.

Yes, of course… That is annoying, that hurts. But later in life, they will understand why I was away so often: to give them a future too.

“Dad, I’m thirsty. Can I have something to drink?” “Yes, go ahead.”

How difficult is it to keep personal anxieties out of the oche?

I can often focus well, but when you sleep poorly due to all the troubles, you are just a little less concentrated. And over the past year, I have often filled that huge void with the wrong things. When you are home alone, you are more likely to eat out, seek out company, and have a glass of wine with it.

There is no formula for the perfect throw. My secret? You have to be a born winner. A 'just went along for the ride' mentality isn't in my nature.

New ladies will present themselves again as well…

Yes, but I have a very big filter. I don't lead the kind of life someone just fits into. Of course, you never know what's going to happen, but I'm not focused on that right now.

Haven't installed Tinder yet?

“Hahaha, no! I did that once, but I quit immediately. Give me a break, that’s not for me at all. Anyway: what is that, dating? I was with Daphne since my teenage years, so I never experienced that. We met at the pub where I played darts. She was a friend of the owner’s daughter.”

You have an enormous amount of energy; you are quite a busy bee. How do you explain that someone with so much restlessness can still muster such extreme focus?

Many people overthink everything. I don't. I just do what I enjoy and what I'm good at, without over-analyzing everything. I also never watch my own matches back. I don't give a damn about that; it makes me unhappy. A friend of mine is a sort of video analyst. He knows me inside and out and tells me everything I need to know: the energy I put into a match, the intensity, very small details.

In golf, posture is very important. How is that in darts?

“You don’t have that in darts. It is primarily a mental game. But I have this 'just keep going' idea in my head and never think negatively.”

Although you are the only one who can be held accountable for the result…

That’s right. You stand alone on the stage. It’s not a team sport where you can hide behind others. Last week I didn’t perform well in Ahoy; I lost the very first match. But I just got back from a tournament in Germany and tomorrow I’m already flying to Liverpool for the next match. You don’t have time to dwell on it for long. Just think about it: I sleep in hotels for more than two hundred nights a year.”

What other sports do you enjoy?

Padel. I wanted to have a court built in my garden, but the municipality isn't cooperating. Permit this, permit that… Everything is difficult these days. And I don't have the time to deal with it.

Under your house, you have your own man cave where you can unwind.

“I play darts there, there is a sauna, I can watch TV in peace…”

What are the places in Brabant for you where you can really breathe and unwind?

The Loonse and Drunense Dunes, Lake Engeler… But sometimes I also like to catch a festival, like Rebirth recently. I’ve also been to Tomorrowland for two days once; it’s a kind of Efteling for adults.

“Dad, where is my iPad? Here is your iPad, I’ll come and bring it over.”

When you look back on everything you have achieved: what has success brought you and what has it cost you?

It has brought me a lot of wonderful things, but it also cost me my divorce, one hundred percent. And I have also done a lot of stupid things in my life: gambling too much, you name it. Life lessons that come with success. You earn a lot, suddenly you have cash, and for some mistakes I have had to pay the ultimate price. That is the pitfall of success.

What would you have done differently if you could start over one more time?

Nothing. Everything I have done has made me who I am today.

Could you have prevented your divorce?

I don't think so.

Are you afraid of the inevitable downfall that every top athlete will eventually face?

No. I know what I am capable of. Of course, things can go less well sometimes, but if I drop in the rankings, there is a lot to gain again. That’s how I think. I always have a positive attitude.

Do you think the best version of Michael van Gerwen has already happened, or is it yet to come?

“I think that is yet to come on a personal level, as a human being. Because as a top athlete, you have to be a bit of a jerk, think of yourself. Otherwise, you won't get to that spot and you won't be able to stay there. As an athlete, the best version of myself has passed. I won't be able to match the successes I experienced as a darts player; the competition is too cutthroat for that. But can I maintain my position at the top? Absolutely! In five years, I still want to be at the top of the world; that is my goal.”

“Dad, are we going to the playground now then?”